


To Appease The Sea

by Lucihive6



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Blood, Blood and Gore, Blood and Injury, Canon Compliant, Developing Relationship, Disturbing Themes, Heavy Angst, In Character, Love, M/M, Makoto Is Concerned, Murder, Obsession, Possessive Nanase Haruka, Psychological Horror, Season/Series 01, Unhealthy Relationships, Violence, Yandere, Yandere Nanase Haruka, everybody loves Rin, happiness is a myth, set before s2, the ocean is a tricky binch
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-16
Updated: 2017-07-05
Packaged: 2018-06-02 15:44:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6572131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucihive6/pseuds/Lucihive6
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Since when had a monster been lurking under his skin? Biding its time to fester and form into something that could consume him to his very core. And it had found that 'something'. And it had come in the form of a purpose that had vaulted its way into his life only to tear its way free again.<br/>But now it was back. Rin had returned and Haruka was alive again.<br/>And the monster inside had clawed its way to the surface. Its 'something' being the beating of Haruka's heart.<br/>This was all for Rin. All of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning:  
> If you do not like themes of gore, violence or horror please do not read this.

The water still accepted him even when it was stained red with liquid pain that did not belong to him.

Almost as if transfixed by the ripples of water that were being fuelled by an odd movement of a limb and how the colour of crimson that had poured out from broken veins combined with the clearness of pure liquid that had flowed out of a tap, he watched in silence; as if calculating, thinking. Or maybe, just simply, there were no gears moving in his head.

One thing was absolutely certain: the boy was not shaken. He was surrounded by the water almost as if he was a part of it himself, like he was one of the many ripples running along the surface - or perhaps all of them.  
  
No, the boy simply sat and watched with unblinking eyes. His limbs were not trembling or shaking in the slightest. He was cool and collected. As if this was just a normal bath time; something that he had for at least an hour every day, even if he wasn't unclean.

Another thing that was certain was that they boy was unmistakably not clean. It seemed that blood had become another layer of flesh and choked his pores in his skin. However, after an hour of sitting and half-hearted cleansing, the dried red had started to peel off and eventually only a few remnants remained. Yet he sat until he was pristine.

After usage his towel remained clean. Red stained the rims of his bathtub but he cleaned it with a dish rag whilst doing the daily household chores that he should have done earlier.

It was late, he noted, as he looked out of the window in the living room. The sky was dark, stars nestled their way into the blackness and the sun was nowhere to be seen.  
It was the night sky that had veiled his presence.

It was a blessing wrapped in a curse that he was in her form room as he had to listen to her mundane prattle day by day. Of course, it only became a serious problem when the girl had gotten entangled in his life. All because she had opened her mouth at the wrong time.

He remembers the scene of her crime vividly - after all, it was the momentum that fuelled his actions when he plunged through her chest, tearing through veins, sinews and flesh, right until it stabbed a hole in her heart. The blood had burst out of the rip in her skin like a crimson fountain.

Her crime took place in registration in the afternoon. It was sunny and the sun rays spread over the outside of the school and lit up the blue sky. He remembers a conversation with Makoto, which, for once, he did not really listen too like he usually did. This time he was too busy focusing on the low depth of the plunge in the stomach as his ears were consumed with the words the girl was spewing.

"... And my cousin goes to that same academy, Samezuka! The same one that _h_ _e_ goes too!"

Her puppet-like friends all simpered whilst he noticed that there was a stinging throughout his body, like his blood had been laced with her poisonous words.

"That's how I know about Matsouka! My cousin talks about him all the time! And one day I was walking with Yuu in town and we bumped into him!" He noticed how his hand had begun to shake in a consuming rage and he dragged his fingers up to form a fist to try and contain it.

"Love at first sight, ladies. And you know he has a sister here? But it'd be too embarrassing to ask her anything! So here's my plan," he felt the goosebumps ride up on his skin, prickling him with only a slight discomfort. It wasn't nearly enough to distract him from the pain wedged inside.

"I've only met him once without Yuu with a friend so now I'm going to 'bump' into him in town again. No Yuu and no uniform. I'll do this again and again. If it works it means that fate's at hand!" A laugh from her gaping mouth churned the bitter of his stomach and he felt a shaky breath being forced from his body.

"Soon Matsouka will be mine!"

He felt his heart hammer out of his ribcage and tear through his flesh. No. No. Since when did Rin belong to anyone? Anyone but him?

Never. It was stupid to even think that after the years of pain and hollowness that they had both experienced and had finally come together and found hope in each other that someone else would steal that away.

Looking up from his desk, he felt his heart that had ripped itself out from his body dry out from the surrounding air. He looked at the girl with long dark hair tied up into a bun.

 _I want to do that to her,_ he remembered thinking as he felt his heart shrivel up. She had nothing on him, Haruka knew this, yet if she was ready to talk about Rin like he was nothing, like he was just a possession, then she didn't deserve what kept her alive.

He remembered her talking about her jogs across the beach late at night. He remembered intercepting her and tearing out her heart with a carving knife. He remembered the feeling of nothingness stifle his senses towards the outside world. He remembered the emptiness of the streets as he dragged her the short distance into the ocean before taking off her jacket that he had touched with both hands. The only thing he felt was hollowness when he discarded the body and how the waves so eagerly accepted it and took her from the shore. He had a fleeting thought of Makoto but shoved it aside.

He remember clutching the heart in his hand before placing it down onto the shore before it was dragged away. He cleaned his hands off in the water but still felt the wetness clogging the pores in his skin. He fancied it was just the sea water.

And then he wrapped the knife in her jacket and walked along the shore line of the beach, knowing that he could rely on the body of water to wash away any remaining footprints of his and hers and any blood smears or splatters.

Her jacket smelt disgusting when he burnt it. It gave off a slight warmth which he appreciated just being dressed in his swim suit whilst washing his clothes in cold water. He wasn't sure if he could smell an overwhelming stench of sickening sweet perfume or if it was just all in his head. Maybe her scent had attached onto him and refused to go away to be the last remaining proof of her existence.

All the more reason to have a bath.

Cleaning the carving knife was a task among the rest of the chores. He had cleaned the blade and hilt before he had used it and wore a new pair of washing up gloves. He had burnt them too as they were covered with clumps of blood from when he had reached into her chest and tore out her formerly beating organ.

He lay awake briefly before allowing sleep to take him.

He was reassured. Rin was his. Nobody could take him away, not after everything they had been through. They had found hope in each other and a purpose to swim.

And to live.

Rin was the beating organ within Haruka, all long as Rin was his, Haruka was alive. And the point in living was to be with Rin. And Rin was his reason to swim.

He had experienced living without Rin for too long. He would never put up with the agony that festered under his skin and the thoughts that pierced his skull. He thought he would never experience those things again. However, they had all come rushing back when the girl had opened her mouth.

Haruka then decided that his hands weren't clean and would never be again. But if the water accepted him and Rin didn't know then what would it matter? It didn't.

Nothing had changed. Because he was whole again and now he could live. Freely.

 


	2. Chapter 2

> __

* * *

The beginning of the sunlight's rays intruded on Haruka's sleep and pulled him out of his unconscious state.

After a quick breakfast Haruka then knew that no matter how much fuel he gave his body he would never be able to escape from the hollow feeling within. But he could handle it; after all, he had dealt with much worse.

He joined with the water again and as per usual he got lost within the sensation of simply being... There. Content with being accepted. The water would keep silent about what had happened last night.

But he knew the mouths of the puppets in his form room wouldn't.

He heard the bathroom door open but his body didn't respond as it was used to the routine in the morning.

  
He slid his eyes over to the source of the noise after noticing a presence. He was relieved to see Makoto after the event last night; it was one more step back back to normality.

And just like every morning Makoto held his hand out, scolding him slightly for being late whilst Haru took his hand and stood up. He felt the water cascade from his body. He shivered slightly as his bare skin was met with cold air that should have been moist and cloaked him in warmth. He realised that his bath water had been freezing cold. And he hadn't felt it.

Thrown off balance slightly, Haruka searched Makoto's face for a sign of... Anything that proved he could still feel something. That he could be one with water and still be counted as human.

All this did was cause Makoto to worry as Haruka saw his eyebrows crease. Haruka stepped out of the tub after Makoto moved aside and as usual Haruka reached into an empty space next to him and he was handed a towel. The same towel he had used last night.

Knowing it was clean, he used it to dry off the remnants of the water. He made a mental note to clean it once he had gotten home.

And like always Makoto waited patiently whilst Haruka got changed and as usual they both walked to school together. The only difference was that Haruka didn't look at the ocean once and with its crashing waves, Haruka knew that it wanted the attention.

Makoto looked from Haruka's impassive face which was facing the road in front of them to the storm clouds that were gathering in the sky, "it looks like there'll be a storm."

Only then did Haruka take a glance at the mass of water and a small portion of relief diffused in the hollowness of his stomach as it looked the same as it did yesterday before the event. Only it looked angry. Would he have to appease it? And how? Was the ocean angry at him?

  
Once the thought struck Haruka it seemed preposterous, of course the ocean wasn't angry at him. The water had accepted him this morning. Haruka would visit the ocean again today after school and after swimming practise.

"Are you okay?" Haruka barely processed the words before he felt a small prickle at his nerves.

He looked wordlessly up at Makoto as if to say 'why are you asking?' knowing that Makoto would decipher it perfectly.

"Are you sick?" Makoto rephrased and Haruka pondered on what 'sick' Makoto meant, "you were shivering this morning. I thought maybe you had caught something."

Of course Makoto had noticed something. Haruka knew that Makoto would have, be it a shiver or his guarded exterior, to think that Makoto wouldn't suspect something would be to undermine years of friendship. Something that Haruka couldn't do.

"The bath water was too cold," Haruka responded with which Makoto answered with a brief lecture on 'water safety'. This would have been a normal occurrence and Haruka would have relished in it but he sensed it, something that was left unsaid - a disturbance.

But Haruka couldn't dwell on it. There was no way that Makoto could know everything. If it came to it, he could just pretend to be sick - an inconvenience but if it prolonged arousing suspicion, then he could handle it.

Form was fairly anti climatic, Haruka wasn't expecting much and he received it. He was listening to Makoto about swimming practise and adding a few suggestions (shooting down the idea of Nagisa of bringing his cousin's jet ski to the ocean just to 'try it out'), when he caught wind of a conversation.

"Any of you seen Yuki?" One of the puppets ask. Haruka allowed himself to stop listening to his current conversation for a minute.

"No. I've called her mobile but she hasn't picked up. Maybe she's sick and her mum took it away or something."

"Yeah, probably. Anyway, have you studied for the math test?"

Haruka returned to the conversation and noticed that, just for a second, the hollowness in his stomach was replaced with something else. It wasn't relief with the fact that he wasn't suspected. It was amusement. Amusement at the fact that these girls didn't care where their 'friend' was and the fact was that she was dead. Murdered by their own 'classmate'.

When the bell rang to signal the beginning of the first lesson, Haruka caught wind of their conversation again as he was leaving his row.

"... Yuki's got competition. I heard that Shion in our art class has a huge crush on Yuki's guy."

"Oh, yeah! Didn't she meet him when she was with Yuki herself? Yuki didn't tell us, probably because Matsouka fell for Shion instead," a giggle, "Yuki's such a sore loser. She's probably at home, sulking, because she saw Shion and Matsouka together."

And then everything fell silent. Haruka didn't feel his legs move although he knew that the scenery had changed. He felt something tight constrict his own heart and he felt that some dark feeling churning in his stomach that he felt the day Yuki committed her crime.

Why did he feel like this every time they talked about his Rin?

Well, there was the answer. His Rin. Rin was his and if one of these girls pulled him away, Haruka would have nothing. But why would Rin leave him? They had just reunited again.   
Because everyone was changing and Haruka was not. Rin would soon maybe want that person that he always heard the mindless boys talk about, the girl that would change everything.

Why did Haruka care? It wasn't as if anyone had the power to change Rin's goals, after all, they swam for the same reason.

Didn't they?

Haruka didn't know. It was all too much. The only thing he knew for certain was that he had just discovered the feelings inside of him, the feelings that had been there for far too long and were not going to go away. He felt too many things for Rin and there was too much emotional attachment. Was this the like that he heard everybody talk about?

The other thing he knew for certain was that Shion shared his English Language class and that she was one of the faces in the crowd that walked home alone. This information was relevant. Why?

Because the ocean needed appeasing. And as he felt a hungry itch scratch at his veins and claw his stomach he remembered the carving knife at home, in his cutlery cupboard.

 _I want to do it again,_ he thought as he remembered the feeling of holding a heart in his hand and how the blood that had once beat through a girls veins painted his own skin with crimson paint.

The same colour as Rin's hair.

His Rin.

This was all for him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh development *waggles eyebrows* okay so Haru isn't... Mentally stable, if you guys got that, he's a tad more 'one with water' and this fic is called To Appease The Sea which will make more sense i swear - thank you for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

  
The only memorable thing about the rest of the school day was the time spent in the pool. The water was warmer and noticeably smoother than the water that came from the tap and filled up his bath tub.

However, there was something that crawled beneath him, something that fuelled him - and it showed in his lap times which Kou and the others congratulated him on. But it wasn't something to marvel at. He felt it simmering beneath his skin, pumping through his veins, a carnivorous rage - no, a craving. A raw animal  _hunger._

And he knew what it was. He couldn't immerse himself in the water with that one thought racing through his mind, etching its way into every crevice of his brain. The thought of that girl having an interest in his Rin, he felt his heart tighten uncomfortably at the thought.

Because the thought of Rin having the same interest in the girl, _Shion,_ would render Haruka useless. What would be the point of a being with a heart that didn't beat? Rin was what kept him alive, he was his purpose - hope.

And it was the same way around, wasn't it?

He was Rin's hope, wasn't he?

Rin would never replace him, would he?

_What am I to Rin?_

Haruka's eyes snapped open and he found himself looking up at the shower head in the changing rooms. Blinking as a sharp splash of water entered his eye, he faced downwards again and turned the shower off.

Once dried and changed he found Makoto waiting outside for him.

"Everybody left a few minutes ago. It was a good practise today, Gou told me to tell you that you need to keep your time up," Makoto smiled and Haruka felt the carnal urge to destroy ease up slowly.

They began to walk and Makoto kept up the talk while they both pretended that a real conversation wasn't about to take place.

"... And Nagisa seems to be motivated for the next tournament," Haruka felt himself tense up even before the carefully calculated words fell out of Makoto's mouth and lingered in the air, "we'll be facing Rin and his team. It's gonna be interesting to see how much Samezuka has changed with Rin as captain."

Haruka bristled at the mention of Rin, "they'll be good," he confirmed, with a small swell of pride.

Makoto looked on at the small smile that lingered on Haruka's lips but was quickly replaced with his lips set in a line.

"And we will be too," Makoto responded with his signature bright smile and Haruka felt his heart twinge slightly and the hollowness subside.

"I'm going to the beach," Haruka found himself saying, the unsaid invitation hanging in the air.

Makoto paused slightly, obviously assessing the situation, "I have to get back to look after Ren and Ran," Haruka sensed the blatant lie, "but enjoy yourself. And don't stay out too late in the cold."

Not much else was said before Makoto departed with a word of goodbye. Haruka stood briefly, rooted in the same spot before he turned on his heel and walked in the direction of the mass of water that was calling his name.

He only registered when he had reached his destination when he heard the rushing of the water. He looked up to the sky and saw the grey clouds that had been bunched together since this morning. Surprised that they looked familiar he realised he must have been looking up at them subconsciously throughout the day.

He stood by the shore, watching as the water adjusted to fit around his shoes. For a split second he wondered where the body was and if it had fallen to the depths of the ocean before he realised that tracks were plastered up and down the whole beach.

He wondered if Rin had been jogging and if any of those footprints were his. And then cold fear slammed into his chest which didn't have anything to do with the sudden wind that whipped across the shore.

If Rin had been here on other days, Rin hadn't visited him. Shion walked in the other direction of the school, could Rin have been there? With her?

Disgust shot through his veins and he stepped away from the shore line. His footprints that were set in the sand were swept away so easily. How easy it would have been to let the water take him and not fight it. But he couldn't. He couldn't leave Makoto, Nagisa, Rei or Kou. And no way could he leave Rin to succumb to someone who didn't even known him.

Haruka walked along the shore and then left the beach, no evidence left behind.

Once he got back inside his house, he made sure to put the towel in the wash and then while he was sitting in the living room, a sketchbook laid in front of him, his eyes fell on the small device discarded on the end of the table. His phone. His phone which contained Rin's number.

A direct contact to Rin.

Without hesitation he reached for it and wrapped his fingers around it, dropping his pencil he snapped open the phone and stared at the screen. It was dark. No battery.

Sighing with annoyance at the unreliability of technology, he rose to find his phone charger. He found it under his bed, wrapped in disarray.

He plugged it into a socket near his bed and connected it to his phone. The screen finally flashed on but he found he would have to leave it before he could use it. He knew he should have walked away and busied himself with fixing dinner but he found himself unable to move. He stared at the screen until it flashed on for good.  
  
He was fixated on the screen and repeated the thought of 'what do I do now' until he saw his messages flashing green. He clicked the button which led him to his inbox and he was greeted with a flow of messages.

Most of them were spam which he didn't open and left sitting in the bed of texts. Quite a few were from Nagisa and were fairly old, he hadn't received any from Makoto or Rei (presumably because Makoto had told Rei about the lack of use that Haruka's phone went through) and a few motivational ones from Kou.

But the top one that had pushed its way through the pile caught his eye. His breath hitched slightly as he read the name: 'Rin'.

Instinctively, his thumb pressed down on the button to open the message and he found that it had been sent at least a week ago.

_'Makoto told me you still have the same phone but i reckon u don't use it much.'_

'What kind of conversation starter is that?' The thought flashed through Haruka's mind before he began typing out a reply. He read it a few times before realising that nothing else would be better and hit 'send'.

_'I'm using my phone now.'_

Straight and to the point, the way communication worked with Haruka, except it didn't work that way with Rin. Feelings and meanings were hidden, disguised in his words and you had to push past all his barriers to understand what they meant. Haruka would have thought that he knew Rin but sometimes he found himself discovering parts of Rin within certain words or actions.

Haruka wondered what Rin would be like with 'that special someone' and then decided to not dwell on it when he felt the aching hunger return to him.

He found his phone vibrating and was startled slightly before realising that Rin had replied. Quickly. Haru took a moment before opening up the message.

_'Finally! Was wondering when we could talk again though i've been busy and i know you have too.'_

His reply was instant: _'not really.'_  And then because it bothered him,  _'we have talked. Kou called you last week.'_

It was as if Rin had been waiting for Haruka to send the message but was typing slowly or simply hadn't opened the message at all because Haruka timed that it had been more than five minutes and his phone had stayed silent.

Eventually the silence was broken and Haruka received a new message. Almost as if to get back at Rin, he was slower in opening the message and was slower reading it - this caused him to be more affected by the content of the text.

_'a 3 minute phone call with u barely talking doesn't actually count as a conversation, Haru."_

And it was almost as if Rin was here with him because he could hear the teasing tone in Rin's voice mixed with the slight disappointment that had tried to mask itself.

Haruka felt elevated, the hollowness inside ceased to exist and he felt his lungs expand, like there was no weight pushing down on him anymore. And in that moment he truly was free because he knew that he was important to Rin.

But in what way?

Haruka typed quickly and sent the message before thinking.

_'I'm not busy now.'_

The reply seemed hesitant, almost as if nervous.

_'Neither. So are u free to call? If u wanna.'_

Haruka read the words over and over again before inhaling again, a new feeling was buzzing through his veins. No, it wasn't a new feeling. It was what he felt whenever he was with Rin, be it swimming or simply talking. It always felt like a new experience. But it was welcomed.

_'Okay.'_

There was a pause and then his phone let out a continuous vibration. Meaning he wasn't receiving a message.

He stared at the device like it was a grenade before pushing the 'accept call' button and holding it somewhat close to his ear. It felt unnatural and foreign.

"Oi, Haru. You there?" Rin's voice. Haruka felt his hand grip at sheets on his bed and he stared at it in bewilderment for a brief moment before bringing himself back to the situation at hand.

"Yes. It's me," he responded. His voice sounded normal, not hollow at all.

A laugh. Rin's laugh. A sound that Haruka had missed and suddenly everything seemed so normal and Haruka felt his heart yearn for something... Something more than what 'normal' could offer. Because Haruka knew that nothing could ever be 'normal' again.

'Normal' had been dragged up by the waves and had been forced under the sea.

"Geez, you sound so formal and awkward over the phone. You must look so weird using one. Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever seen you use your phone," Haruka noted the light tone of Rin's voice and picked up the happiness in it.

"If you don't like it I can hang up," he retorted, remembering that he hadn't had dinner and it was past eight. Did it matter though? He wasn't even hungry. Food couldn't possibly satisfy the hunger that he felt.

"No, no. I'm fine with it, I swear!" Haruka scowled at the taunt of Rin's words and he must have known this as Haruka heard his laugh again, "so how has your day been?"

"Fine. There was school and then I swam," Haruka refrained from telling Rin about his trip to the ocean.

Rin chuckled, "Kou texted me earlier on, saying that I should watch my back. You guys must be pretty good now, huh?"

Rin sounded relaxed, like talking to Haruka put him at ease. That itself made Haruka feel uneasy; wasn't he dangerous? But why should that be a bad thing? He had protected Rin, therefore it was fine. And why would Haruka be dangerous if he would never hold Rin's heart in his hand and feel the cold blood run down his palm?

"I don't know. I don't pay attention to the times."

Rin gave a resigned sigh, "you still on about that? Well, you better start caring once we beat you guys next tournament. Our team's shaping up well, I just hope you guys can say the same," and there was Rin, giving Haruka the same spark of competitiveness.

"It sounded like you already know how good we are; you just told me," he felt the same satisfaction crawl through his veins as he heard Rin give an annoyed tut and he heard a slight rustle of Rin pushing his hair back. Haruka then came to terms with the fact that he had probably been watching Rin for a longer time than he had suspected if he had his mannerisms down.

"Well, we'll have to wait and see, won't we?" Haruka heard the challenge in Rin's voice.

"I suppose we will," he met it with equal challenge and it seemed to work as he heard Rin laugh again.

"Say, Haru," he began and Haruka immediately knew that Rin was taking the conversation is a completely new direction, "when are you free next? I mean, if you're not, that's fine, I was just askin-"

"This weekend," he interrupted Rin before Rin could take away his offer, "I'm not doing anything."

"Oh, okay, cool," Haruka rose his eyebrows slightly at how calm Rin suddenly sounded, like he was trying to keep level headed.

"I don't know if Makoto and the others are," Haruka added, as they all hadn't met up in some time he assumed that Rin would suggest they all meet again.

"Kou's been begging me to meet up with everyone to go to a restaurant and I've agreed in two weeks time, so we'll all meet up then, but, I was thinking if this could just be... Us, if that's okay with you," Rin sounded slightly nervous, as if he were asking too much.

  
Haruka found himself being devoid of words before he opened his mouth and the answer slipped right out: "okay. I'm free whenever."

"Good! Okay, so is Saturday okay? I'll meet you at your house around noon?"

"I'll cook mackerel," Haruka said, suddenly feeling the slight feeling of hunger for food.

"Hell no," Rin's response was immediate, "I have no idea how you survive on just mackerel but it's not healthy, no, we're going somewhere different."

"..." Haruka tried to decipher the meaning behind what Rin was saying but he couldn't find anything except that Rin seemed to miss him (which made his heart feel lighter), "as long as they serve mackerel."

Rin's laugh made Haruka's stomach churn and swirl slightly and he couldn't ignore the feeling, "okay, fine, you win. But we're still going out! Also, do me a favour and turn your phone on every now and then; it's annoying when you don't respond," Haruka barely had the time to process that Rin had seemed bothered by the unintentional silence on Haruka's part before he carried on.

"I have to go now, I have training tomorrow so I better be getting some sleep soon," Haruka nodded out of habit and then made a noise of understanding when he remembered that Rin couldn't see him. There was a slight pause and Haruka thought that Rin had hung up before he heard Rin speak.

"Look after yourself. Makoto can't do it all the time."

Slightly taken aback all Haruka could do was breathe out the name, "Rin..."

"Yeah, well," and now Rin was embarrassed, "I'll see you Saturday. And _text me!_  Good night!"

And there was silence before the dial tone. Haruka closed his phone and placed it underneath his bed before climbing into bed himself.

He lay awake, staring at the ceiling before it all came rushing back to him.

Rin was going to see him this Saturday. He may be able to get much needed answers to his questions that day. This made one thing inevitable.

Shion certainly couldn't stay alive until Saturday.

If there was any chance that Rin would be forcibly taken from him it would have been eliminated.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who's back after a year and 2 months??? this binch! i hope you enjoy! :D

Something else seemed to have sparked inside of him after the phone call with Rin. A type of yearning breathing deep under his skin, a hunger. But not the type of hunger the ocean cried out to him for, crashing its mighty jaws for something to fill its ferocious mass of liquid stomach. This hunger was different; it left him aching as if there were a dull void inside of him, throbbing painfully at any reminder of the other boy.

It was consuming Haruka and he was at a loss at what to do. Sleep didn't sate it and neither did the action of eating and digesting. It was more than what he was, yet, it began in him. And it ended in Rin.

English Language class began second period. The only thought raced across his mind as his eyes opened. The luminous moon had transitioned into bright rays of the sun and Haruka had been conscious through every minute. His body felt rested although his brain was alert.

The tempest in his mind only quelled when settling in the bathtub. The water was still and transparent as it was every morning, but to Haruka a thin layer of red seemed to outline the body of water. He traced it with a calm finger and inspected it listlessly, registering that his skin remained clean although more crinkled than it usually was on a school morning. After draining the tub his feet moved on their own towards the desk where his phone was kept. The battery was low and the time read ‘5:04’. No messages.

There was nothing else to do, no homework, no swimming. He exited the house and wandered almost aimlessly, his feet light and loitering as he made his way to the ocean. It roared a monstrous greeting to him and he accepted it coolly, staring into the waves that matched the thundering thoughts inside of his head. He took a step closer and dithered when it receded away from him, crawling from the sand that lay under his feet. The water that always accepted him without failure had rejected him, tossing him out onto the cold hard rocks.

His widened eyes drifted from the furious sea and focused on his feet. The water circled around him, deliberately avoiding any contact, and in that moment he understood. The sea was hungry, ravenous even, just like he was. But this was a hunger that he could satisfy, not like his own.

He didn’t know how long he lingered at the sea, standing where the land merged with the large volume of water. All he knew was that that was where Makoto found him, a cautious hand on his shoulder swiftly bringing him back into what was the ‘now’.

“Haru?” The hand was gone but it had done its job. Haruka turned away from the ocean, ignoring its cries, to focus on the other boy. “What are you doing here?” Makoto looked too puzzled to be concerned until he looked out across the ocean and back to Haruka. “You’re soaked! You weren’t swimming were you? It’s too cold for that!”

Haruka was slightly thrown aback due to Makoto’s outburst. He looked down at his attire. The shirt and pants he wore to sleep were what he also wore in the bathtub – changing had entirely slipped his mind but he couldn’t bring himself to be phased. There were more important matters at hand.

“I didn’t go in,” he stated vaguely, ignoring the worried look spreading across Makoto’s face. “My clothes are wet because I washed them and didn’t want my uniform to get wet here.” His excuse wasn’t even mediocre and if Makoto wasn’t set on ensuring he change into warmer clothes and for them to get to school on time, he knew that Makoto would have hounded him for a real answer. The only real answer he had was that he was ill; nothing felt right about him at all.

But that couldn’t stop what was going to happen inevitably. The ocean wept for it and the void inside of him yearned for it. Shion was a reserved girl who mostly kept to herself, her friends were more casual acquaintances but Haruka knew that someone would miss her. The blood-water that flooded his veins pummeled his entire body, reminding him that the ocean craved a meal.

No new whispers of the girl arose during registration as the puppets’ voices were shrill and manic about the whereabouts of Yuki. An announcement of her disappearance had been rung out in assembly with the news that the police had been involved due to there being a 24 hour period of her being missing. Her parents had been the ones to see her last and they wanted the school to be on the alert.

Shion had sat two rows in front of him on his left, her shoulders were tense and she had seemed distant. Maybe she was thinking of work, her family. Or Rin. Maybe she was going to see him this weekend, meaning that he would change his plans with Haruka to see the girl who was more important than swimming, the thrill of the race, the competition and… Him.

A slimy jealousy slithered through him and he resolved himself to never let that happen.

His seat in English Language class had been assigned three rows from the front whilst Shion had been assigned a seat next to the window. He had never paid attention to her before but after observing her from a close distance he realised that there was only one way to go about it before the week ended, sealing the distance between him and Rin forever.

An oral practical was set up which required opposite sex partners as the lesson was ‘Discussing ideal types’. Makoto sent him a despairing look before a small cluster of girls formed around him and Haruka rose from his chair and walked to Shion’s desk. She looked up from the textbook in something akin to shock. There was a pause in which neither spoke. “Um,” Shion began. “Would you like to work with me?” Her voice was small.

He nodded in response before pulling up a chair. He sat at an appropriate distance before another silence settled amongst them. He thought of something Rin would do. “Thank you,” he said in English to which she looked up and smiled at him.

“So, ‘ideal types’,” she started, tracing the text with her pen. “I don’t know what to say. It’s embarrassing.” She did sound embarrassed which only caused Haruka’s stomach to lurch.

“If you have a boyfriend just describe him,” was all he said, pushing for further information.

“Ah, no, I don’t,” her voice seemed too high to be truthful. “Well, I suppose there is someone I could describe…” He blinked slowly, his ears roaring as blood pelted through him. “What about you?”

He turned to her. Her eyes held an earnest curiosity. The same eyes that gazed at Rin. “I do, too.”

“That’s good then, it should make this easier.” She held up her pen. “We have to present these next week so shall we get started?”

By the time the lesson ended a paragraph had formed on Shion’s paper whilst Haruka’s had remained blank apart from the question written at the top in blank ink.

Shion peered over his shoulder. “No inspiration?” She sounded surprised. “I can help you write yours, if you like.”

He heard the ocean chortle, great floods of water crashing together. “I’d like that.”

She smiled as she packed up her pens. “Well, I’m free after-school. Would you like to meet at a café or a park?”

“Are your family at home?” He controlled the urgency of his question.

“Sorry, I hope you don’t think I was being rude! I wasn’t sure if you wanted to come to my house… My family can be overbearing,” Shion admitted. “But, if you like, I can come to yours if it’s easier for you. To be honest, I need to get away from my family sometimes,” she forced out a laugh.

“Do you have a phone you can text them with?”

“Oh, yes, I would need to tell them, wouldn’t I? Um, it’s a little embarrassing but only my older sister has a phone. Is it okay if I borrow yours? I know my home number.”

Once again, the sea spat out a laugh.

The school day ended at the usual time and Haruka needed to blow his nose more than usual.

“Haru, this is what you get for this morning!” Makoto scolded whilst Nagisa pouted.

“You can’t be getting sick at a time like this, we have to train!” Nagisa demonstrated ‘training’ with such zest that he almost knocked Rei’s glasses onto the floor.

“Whilst I agree with Nagisa, I do worry for Haruka’s health,” Rei adjusted his glasses and looked put-out as Nagisa laughed. “Make sure you’re better as soon as possible.”

Shion was waiting by the front of the school. No one gave her a second, or a first, glance but she didn’t appear overly conscious of it. He approached her and gave a greeting which she responded back to.

“So, are you ready?” She asked, an eager smile on her face. They walked together in a mutual silence, Haruka leading through quiet back streets and empty paths, set on avoiding as many people as possible. Inevitably, this took longer than usual and gave Shion enough time to work up the courage to ask the question that had been on her mind since this morning.

“Nanase… Why did you pick me to work with today?”

Her question didn’t falter his footsteps but his mind halted for a split second. “No one else was working with you.” It was a reason and a statement, vague enough to be seen as a reason.

“Nanase…” She trailed off. He looked at her and saw her a smile widening on her face. “Nanase, I’ve known you for years but we’ve never really talked, but I always knew you were kind. Thank you for today, I know you’d rather hang around with your other friends.”

The familiar sight of his neighbourhood fazed into view. “I don’t mind.”

“I always dread partner projects,” her footsteps increased to catch up to his as she let her guard drop spectacularly. “I only ever used to pair with Yuki, but she’s not in our English class.”

His stomach rolled with distaste but he didn’t voice his complaints. He practically marched up the steps to the house with Shion lagging behind.

Shion quietened before whispering: “Where do you think she is?”

He opened the door and stepped aside. She shook her head, “I’m sorry. We can just talk about the work,” was all she muttered before stepping inside and removing her shoes. Haruka followed and locked the door behind him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm appreciative of every kudos, bookmark and comment I have received and I'm sorry I haven't updated in over a year.  
> I have left the Free! fandom due to my interest in other things but I felt that I've neglected this story for far too long as I have a solid idea of where I want this story to go and how I want the relationships to develop (which is why I'm back).  
> The reason I hadn't updated was because of a comment left on this work when I first uploaded it. Over a year ago I was very nervous about this work due to the themes and how I would be handling the characters because these types of fics are quite niche(?), meaning I hadn't seen many yandere fics in the RinHaru fandom (this may have changed because I haven't checked in a year) so I wanted to try writing one of my own. Over a year ago I couldn't handle criticism at all, in the face of it I felt foolish and took it personally, believing I had to be the best. So when receiving one of the first negative comments I had ever received on any of my fics, I felt awful, I felt as if I didn't belong in the fandom because of the way I altered the characters in one fanfiction. I deleted the comment and deleted this work off of my phone.  
> Leaving this fic for so long was my fault, I abandoned the ideas I had for it because of one person who didn't like the themes. I believe I have matured in handling criticism and I cannot wait to share this story with anyone who is interested. Thank you! :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning:  
> Blood, gore and violence in this chapter!

She didn’t ask for tea and he didn’t serve any. Instead, she knelt on the floor and rummaged through her bag to find textbooks and pens. Haruka sat opposite her and watched in silence as a tear slipped down her cheek.

“I’m sorry, I know I said I’d only talk about the work… And sorry for intruding on you and for rambling on, it’s just…” Her voice sounded broken but Haruka made no move to console her. “I can’t talk to anyone else about this. I-I don’t really have anyone else. My family are too obsessed with my sister’s success, I don’t get a look-in.” She looked up at him through eyelashes clumped with tears. “Do you have any siblings?”

He shook his head and she sniffed. “You’re lucky.” Haruka’s ears pricked as he heard water drip from the tap. It splashed into the sink, and he envisioned the trails of water it left behind. The figure of Shion blurred in front of him and he wondered how Rin managed to engage in a conversation with her without longing to be somewhere else. And then he the wondered if Rin ever felt that with him, looking past him and longing to be by Shion’s side.

“Who was the person you described in your work?” He inquired. She looked grateful at the change of conversation.

“Oh!” She realised what he had asked and began to blush. “You probably wouldn’t know him. I met him with Yuki, we all talked for quite a while but he had to get back,” she seemed reminiscent. Her smile free and dreamy. “I admit that I wanted to meet him again, without Yuki, so I hung around the same spot but I only met him once more and he was with his friends.” Something cold ran dangerously rogue throughout Haruka’s body and his hands trembled as he fisted them into the fabric of his trousers.

She carried on, latching onto anything that led her mind away from Yuki’s disappearance. “They were nice too, but he was different. It’s so weird, I’ve never felt like this for anyone. I would like to meet him again, maybe this weekend, to get to know him better and to see if he… Well, to see if he likes me too.” She focused her attention back to Haruka. “Oh, I’m sorry! Let’s… Let’s get to work, then.” She opened up her pad of paper.

“What is his name?” Shion’s eyes met his. He held her stare when she replied, watching her eyes soften and the way her mouth stroked the syllables.

“Matsuoka Rin.”

He rose from the table and excused himself with the intent to serve drinks. His eyes grew dry as he stared at the kitchen cabinet. The sea screamed inside of his blood, begging him, _commanding_ him to do the deed.

His eyes moistened as he blinked, the ocean cascading over him, coursing through him. Moving him.

Her screams were silent as she tore through the skin of his hand with feral teeth. The skin of her neck was left bare leaving the sharp curve of the knife to carve through without the hassle of fabric getting in the way. Pinning her down in a mixture of limbs as laboured shuddery breaths tore through him. He swung with as much precision as he could down the length of her neck, aiming for arteries, veins, and capillaries, ripping apart tissue and flesh which evoked an abundant amount of scarlet pain to run and spurt in as many directions as it could escape too.

It lay unmoving underneath him, Shion’s body. Her pens had scattered on the floor amidst the mayhem. Haruka looked away and up to the ceiling, his lungs throbbing.

It was still too light outside to offer the body to the ocean so he resigned himself to clearing up the mess the task had left behind. Pens placed back into her bag with glove-covered fingers, along with textbooks and paper. A body hoisted into a storage room which once belonged to his parents. Crimson liquid his veins didn’t identify as their own cleared away with disinfectant and bleach. His clothes that were stained with the same liquid were scrubbed at before being washed by machine.

Haruka’s body felt weary and his fevered mind began twisting his priorities. Could the ocean wait for just one more night? His nose felt clogged, just as his brain did. His ears started to ring so when the doorbell rang it took him a few seconds to differentiate the two sounds. The doorbell rang again, impatiently. Haruka took a few seconds to get to the front door and found himself staring at it before opening it, already knowing who it was.

“Rin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Wow, it's been a year and Rin-Rin has finally been written in person!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't trust the ocean, kids

The air was cool around them, no threat of an incoming storm. It was a contrast to what had happened prior to Haruka, but just like he did to the energy and heat of Rin, he adapted to it.

“It took you a while,” was all the other said. Haruka didn’t explain which caused Rin to sigh. Haruka knew that his annoyance was only a pretence - Rin was trying hard not to smile. “Makoto told me you were ill because you’ve been stupid.”

“Did he, now.”

“That was what I heard when he told me anyway. So, I figured ‘cuz there’s no way we’re going out tomorrow with you being contagious, I’d stay and help you get better.”

“I’m fine. There’s no need.”

“That’s what I said to Makoto. So I’ll go now, yeah? See you after two weeks with everyone else!” There was a pause.

“You came all the way here; you can stay for a bit.”

“Oh no, it’s fine if you don’t want me here-”

“Rin, get in,” Haru directed, leaving room for the other. He turned pointedly away from Rin’s smug look of victory. “What’s that for?” He diverted, referring to the backpack.

“Ah,” Rin briefly acknowledged it. “Medicine and stuff. Figured you wouldn’t have any,” he made his way down the walkway towards the kitchen.

Haruka followed after him knowing that Rin assumed he would, to find him opening windows. The smell of cleaning product was strong. “I spilt something.”

Rin laughed. “Either that or you were trying to poison yourself.” A draft welcomed itself into the room, Haruka wasn’t sure if he was imagining the strong scent of ocean salt. Rin spoke to him absent-mindedly as he set about to make tea, it was all Haruka could do but to sit where he had been a few moments before, opposite where Shion had inhaled her last breath, and focus on the other boy’s voice.

“You could have asked me to make tea,” he commented when tea was placed in front of him, and then he sneezed whilst Rin watched with a raised eyebrow.

“Why would I want to drink infected tea?” Rin quipped, sitting back while Haruka stared, unimpressed, over the white of his tissue. “So, how’ve you been doing?”

His nose was less clogged and every inhale was charged with the aroma of sea water. “Fine.”

“Oh, yeah, you seem it,” Haruka blew his nose at this response causing Rin to smile. “What’s up with you swimming in the ocean so early in the morning? Don’t tell me it’s Nagisa’s ridiculous idea of ‘training’.”

“I didn’t swim in the ocean,” Haruka said, Rin shot him a deadpan look as if to say: ‘Oh, really?’ “My clothes were wet but I didn’t swim.”

Haruka looked from his steaming tea to Rin’s expression of disbelief thaw into a warm look of annoyance. “You are so weird.” Haruka’s heart plummeted unexpectedly and the ocean rolled on.

“You’re the weird one,” the words shot off his tongue and only made Rin look more amused.

“Oh, yeah? And how’s that?”

“You…” Haruka took a sip of tea to summon a thought and his nose crinkled slightly as he found an answer. “You make tea weirdly.”

“Oi. If you don’t like it, don’t drink it,” Rin replied bitterly, drinking his own tea to hide a smile. “It’s green tea, how can you make it wrong, anyway?”

“Don’t ask me; you’re the one who made it,” Haruka shot back, his stare unblinking.

Rin looked as if he were about to retort but then let out a small burst of laughter.

“What?” Haruka asked as Rin’s laughter emerged once more after he looked back at the other boy. “What is it?”

Rin’s gaze was warm and felt intimate, as if he were tearing into every crevice of Haruka’s heart. Haruka looked back into his cup to find smoke brewing on the surface, his reflection danced upon the liquid and stared back up at him. “It’s just… never change, Haru.”

A small gust of wind blew into the room, laced with the smell of salt infused blood.

 

* * *

 

 

“You can take the bed.”

“No way, you’re ill. _You_ take the bed.”

“Rin. Take the bed.”

“Haru. _Keep_ the bed.”

Both boys stared each other down from within a darkened room. “Rin.” Haru responded in a firm tone. “Take the bed.”

Rin let out a frustrated sound and grasped Haruka by the shoulders, even direct contact didn’t break the other boy's resolute stare. “Haru, take the bed. The whole reason I’m here is so you don’t do something stupid, again.” But Haruka didn’t budge. Rin sighed. “Fine. Have it your way.”

Haruka had never been on the receiving end of Rin’s brute strength – only when being hugged, which even then had been with a desperate gentleness – so to practically be shoved towards the bed and to be pressed down with a powerful force rendered his own muscles useless. He stared up at Rin with an unamused facial expression. “We can share.”

Rin had turned around to sift through his backpack. He snorted at Haruka’s suggestion. “And willingly let myself get ill? You take it.”

Haruka would have been more than content to stare Rin into submission but when Rin saw this, bade him goodnight and turned out the dull light, he gave in. There was no point when he couldn’t see a reaction.

“You’re so stubborn,” Rin muttered, his voice was muffled so Haruka assumed he was facing away from him. He lay down and stared up at the ceiling.

“So are you,” he replied. It was strange to think that the object of two girls’ affections was sharing a room with him. It almost seemed alien that one of the girls’ corpse was lying, unmoving, across the hall. The smell of the roaring ocean seemed to grow stronger. No windows were open.

There was silence but Haruka didn’t think that Rin was asleep. His breathing was too avid, uneven. He seemed to be thinking. “Are you alright?”

The question seemed random but too precise which caused Haruka to be rendered speechless for a few seconds. “You don’t seem to think I am.”

“Shut up,” Rin snorted in faint amusement before pausing to carry on. “No, I mean… Makoto told me about the disappearance at your school. Your classmate? It’s just… I would be pretty shaken up.”

Haruka found his throat convulsing as he struggled to swallow. When he did, however, he found it to be easy and his throat to be moist. It were as if the ocean itself had run along down the passage of his throat, supplying him with words to say. “I suppose so. Fukuda and I weren’t close.”

The air restricted around him but no fear found him, only a strong curiosity as Rin said her name: “You mean, Fukuda Yuki?”

“Yes,” Haruka answered at a natural pace. “Did you know her?” Rin didn’t answer. Haruka sniffed once, then twice due to his impatience.

“Not really,” Haruka hadn’t known what he was expecting but the answer he did receive sparked a river of satisfaction to run amok around his body. “We met once, that’s all. I hope they find her.”

“Me too,” he lied, with the voice of the ocean. Cool, crisp and clear.

The ocean couldn’t wait much longer – anymore time, and one sacrifice wouldn’t be enough.

Haruka either slept, or he didn’t. His eyes were wide open, focusing on the boy who slept a few feet away from him. Taking in the slope of his shoulders, his silhouette in the dark. How close it had been to having him stolen away from Haruka. But was it worth it?

Rin turned over and groaned in his sleep, his voice heavy and deep. Like the ocean blue.

Yes. It was worth every sacrifice.

But Rin must never know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ive never written haru and rin being together in person before (and i havent watched free! in over a year) so i hope 'tis accurate enough
> 
> it all goes downhill from here (although from the first chapter, it already had)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I uploaded this on my phone so if the layout sucks I'll edit it when I next get on my laptop

The next morning dawned grey and drizzly. The rain was faint and fell almost lazily against the window. Haruka’s limbs felt heavy but his mind continued to be alert and informed him that the room was vacant, except for him. He forced his aching body to separate from the bed and to move itself out of the room. The only noise, besides the rain, came from the kitchen. Haruka stilled outside of the storage room door, the air was denser and slightly moist. His hand fell on the door instinctively, it was cool but hummed with a thin anger.

“Hey, what are you doing out there?” Haruka turned his head to the voice. “Breakfast is in here.”

With one last glance at the door, he left, a throb of uncertainty pulsed through him.

Breakfast wasn’t mackerel. Haruka gave Rin something akin to a glare from the opposite side of the table. “No, Haru, you can’t just have mackerel when you’re clearly ill,” his voice sounded rather resigned. “No wonder you’re ill, when was the last time you went shopping?” All he received was a blank look to which he groaned in irritation. “There was nothing in your cupboards so I had to go shopping for you.”

Haruka stared down at the food in front of him fathoming as to why Rin had gone to all that trouble. “I’ll pay you back,” was all he said eventually.

“No, it’s fine. Just eat.”

* * *

 

Haruka had tried to insist that he wash-up but Rin commanded that he should ‘not get in his way’ and that Haruka should ‘rest’. Sitting down and listening to the rain pour down was as close to ‘resting’ as Haruka could do, his mind was racing along with the waves of the ocean and his heart seemed to jolt every time he heard Rin in the kitchen. He didn’t know how long Rin was planning on staying, he knew that eventually Rin would have to get back, maybe on Monday, but time was pressing and each second that the body of Shion was separate from the vastness of the sea was a rock that he would be thrown against when all water rejected him. 

A trickle of rain slithered down the window and he watched with detached eyes, entranced but not processing the sight before him. He saw Rin in the reflection of the glass first rather than hearing his words. “Nagisa is on his way. Presumably with everyone else. Apparently he's determined to get sick." Rin ended with a sigh that merged with a laugh. "So, if you've got anything embarrassing to hide, I suggest you hide it now."

The words were far too direct to be meaningful but Haruka's stomach rolled uncomfortably and constricted in response. Outwardly, Haruka only gave Rin an unamused expression before turning back to the window. "Are you staying?" In these moments there was nothing planned about his responses, they ran through his mind naturally and gravitated out of his mouth. In the reflection of the glass Rin appeared to be having an eternal conflict.

"I don't know, is there a problem with me staying?" The outside rain trickled down the reflected image, blurring him around the edges. But Haruka didn't process it; all he could see was Rin.

"I never said there was."

"Well, okay then."

"Good."

"Great-" Rin cut himself off, his expression riddled with annoyance. Haruka felt himself smile. "While you're not doing anything, you need to take your medicine." Haruka drowned whatever smile was lingering on his face, Rin watched him in the reflection and laughed, an easy grin spread across his lips.

The rain beat down.

* * *

Nagisa brought with him the first few rays of sunshine and the rest of the swim team. For the few hours they occupied the residency Haruka's mind hadn't wondered off into thoughts of the ever-folding waves of the ocean and instead stayed with the rest of the group.

He sat at the table and watched various scenes play out before him, Nagisa attempting to draw a picture of a mackerel after hearing that Haruka currently possessed none whilst Makoto insisted that he was not jogging him but instead was curious about how Nagisa's drawing even vaguely resembled a mackerel. Rei mused of the beauty of rainfall and the Matsouka siblings had a brief reunion before Kou complained about their lack of contact. It was blissfully normal even though they hadn't been united in months.

Haruka, mind bloated and tongue heavy, felt oddly comfortable in the world of the surreal. After all, he had moved away from the realm of normality and closer and closer to the brink of the sea, where everything was haywire and beyond his control.

Haruka would often find his eyes lingering on the opposite end of the table where Rin was located. He would watch as Rin's nose crinkled in weak annoyance at something Kou said before his lips twitched and curved into a grin. Each time Haruka would cast his eyes somewhere else, like at Nagisa's piece of paper discarded on the table or Rei's bottle of water with the label kept in pristine condition. And each time Haruka would look back over for a split second to ensure he hadn't broken the normalcy, only to find Rin already watching him. It didn't feel like any regular competition. This was the first crack in the charade of regularity and Haruka felt it throb within his veins, his head spinning unsteadily.

"Well, we better get going. Haru needs to rest early," Makoto, the ever-caring announced when Nagisa yet again almost blinded Kou whilst throwing his paper airplane. "It's nice seeing you again, Rin." Makoto's smile never lied. Haruka felt himself relax slightly, if only for a short period of time.

"Same here. We still on for the week after this one?" Rin had made no move to stand up, to join the others in their journey home.

"Of course! When Haru's feeling better he can eat all the mackerel he wants at that restaurant!" Nagisa exclaimed with enthusiasm. "So make sure you take care of yourself!"

"I do," Haruka replied. Nagisa's smile only widened as Haruka sneezed soon after.

"Keep up with your medicine and you should be fine in two weeks," Rei advised.

"Rin?" Kou spoke up from behind Makoto, peering round his arm in an almost comical way. "Are you coming with us? Or are you making your own way back?"

Rin leant back in a nonchalant manner. "I'll make my own way back. Head home safely." Kou nodded at the answer while Nagisa bid his farewell dragging Rei along with him. "Make sure you're better by next week, Haru, or I won't let you swim at all!" Kou threatened in an attempt to unsettle him.

Haruka simply smiled instead: "Of course." Kou nodded triumphantly, waved goodbye to her brother and exited the room.

The house grew silent as the front door closed. Haruka's first instinct was to peer down at the table as if on it a story had been written.

“Nagisa left his drawing,” Rin commented, giving Haruka something else to focus his attention on. The paper had been folded into a haphazard plane and left forgotten next to where Kou would have been positioned. “I hope he sticks to swimming if his drawing skills are anything to go by.”

Haruka let out a withdrawn snort of acknowledgement, realising that the glances the two had shared would remain unspoken. Perhaps it simply meant nothing. Haruka wasn’t in the right frame of mind to tell. For the first time in the few occupied hours Haruka heard the sound of prominent rainfall and rumbling thunder.

"They’re gonna get soaked,” Rin commented again. “The weather’s been crap lately, another reason you shouldn’t swim in the ocean.”

“I didn’t,” the words slid off his tongue instinctively. “I told you.”

“I know, I know,” Rin smirked whilst raising his arms in mock-surrender. Haruka’s annoyed expression flat-lined into being deadpan. “Are you hungry?” He rose, stretching his arms, Haruka’s eyes followed every movement. “I can fix you something before I go.” His eyes found the paper once more.

“You don’t have to,” the words were a reflex but Haruka wasn’t sure what part of Rin’s sentence he was referring too, and it seemed Rin didn’t either as their eyes locked once Haruka looked up. “I’m not hungry,” he amended, still uncertain about what there was to amend.

Rin sighed and turned towards the kitchen. “I’ll make you something out of what’s left; I don’t think you know how to cook anything except mackerel.” He added the latter part once he was safely in the kitchen, it was a remark that Haruka knew how to respond but didn’t truly understand.

“Rin, you don’t have to,” Haruka followed the other boy, unsure of what to say, unsure of why Rin was going out of his way to ensure Haruka was fed.

"You’re right – I don’t have to. But if I want my competition to give all they’ve got, then I want to. You’re not gonna be very challenging when you’re passed out mid-length.” Rin was effectively ignoring Haruka’s presence and was putting together a dish.

“I won’t be sick for that long,” Haruka retorted, weak from the pounding in his skull and the words circulating his mind, repeating in an endless loop of: ‘I don’t have to… I want to.’

“Exactly, because you’re going to eat,” Rin peered at him from over his shoulder where he was scavenging in a cupboard. “Go and be ill somewhere else.”

So Haruka did. The door was still firmly shut, the wood was still cold, and everything was the same - except it wasn’t. The rain grew even more heinous as Haruka stood outside of the room a corpse was occupying, he felt the sea bubble ferociously through his veins. Today would be the deadline before the ocean needed more to be sustained. To make sure that there would be no chance that he would lose Rin.

_Rin_.

Dinner was either satisfying or it wasn’t. Haruka chewed but didn’t taste, his mind clear without the haze of sickness. Every second counted and he had never been more aware, it felt like a race where the time mattered. Where the placing counted.

He walked with Rin to the door with his legs moving too slowly and his mind hurtling too quickly. With a surge in his heart he watched Rin walk away from him. And then his heart choked as he saw Rin turn around.

The rain had lightened considerably until it was a mere drizzle. Rin, adorned with his backpack and cap, challenged his gaze with such intensity, but Haruka couldn’t tear away. “You better get better.”

"I don’t seem to have a choice,” Haruka gave a quip of a smile when Rin tried to stay solemn but laughed instead.

"I mean it,” Rin sounded serious.

“I know.” Rin’s gaze was warm and steady. For several moments of peaceful quiet Haruka forgot his pressing task that was determined the coil through him. It was just him and Rin, something that seemed so natural and right. “Thank you.”

Rin shrugged it off. “It's nothing." Haruka could tell that he was pleased anyway. The atmosphere grew slightly more heavier as Rin adjusted the strap of his bag almost hesitantly. "So," he began. Haruka watched him expectantly, his breath didn't come naturally and was held captive in his throat. "So, you owe me."

"I do?" Haruka blinked. Rin seemed to be doing his best to avoid eye contact, Haruka thought, until he breathed in and channeled his gaze to match Haruka's.

"Yeah, you do. We had plans before you got yourself sick." He raised his lips in a teasing smile.

"I told you. I didn't swim-" he was cut off by Rin's laughter. "What?"

"I know, you told me, I believe you," Rin seemed to have stopped the rain altogether and it was all Haruka could do to watch in amazement.

"You're weird," was all he could say.

"You're stubborn," was Rin's reply. Haruka was about to retort before Rin stoppered him. "So when you're better, text me. Call me, even. Whatever it is that you do-"

"I've texted you before."

"You rarely touch your phone."

"Now I do." 

"Good. So text me then."

"You won't always reply."

"I'll get back to you. I'm not you who replies at the latest possible time."

"I'll reply now."

"So you purposely didn't before?"

"I hadn't used my phone in ages."

"Right. So, text me then, and keep your phone on."

"As long as you do the same."

"Yeah, yeah, I will."

"Okay."

"Get better."

"I will."

"Good," Rin stalled outside of the house but Haruka didn't mind. He'd rather know that Rin was here, away from the world, and with him. Away from the ocean, away from any admiring eye.

"I'll text you," Haruka confirmed.

Rin nodded, seemed unsure what to do, then nodded and lifted his hand to signal goodbye. "I better not get sick because of you," he called.

"Your tea will do that for you," Haruka shot back, watching Rin retreat.

Rin gave him a rude gesture which Haruka smiled at before sliding the door shut and staring vacantly at the hall in front of him.

Rin was gone. The house was empty. The sun had set and the sea roared.

The storage room door opened with a creak which caused no effect on Haruka. The goal was set in his mind. He had to do it. The blood that coursed through his veins like a river surging through dry land, surging him forwards. It felt cold under his touch, - Shion's body - through the material of his gloves, through the dust of the sheets.

There was no going back.

The ocean roared in his ears.

While the body, stiff and unmoving, lay burden in his arms, he realised something subconsciously which only rose to his consciousness when morning broke.

The infinite hunger of the ocean ceased to exist when he was with Rin.

Haruka stared, unblinking, at the blinding screen of his phone, his fingers frozen over the keypad until the sun surfaced again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An update before i go to japan because i suck at updating
> 
> Next chapter will be more action-y 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!

**Author's Note:**

> Longish summary and the opening chapter! I hope you enjoyed and I have realised that I am 2 years late to upload a Free! fanfiction, but because RinHaru has dragged me back into hell and I love the idea of yandere characters, this was born! I hope you like!


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